There are hardly any people who love criticism in their addresses. But this is a great opportunity for our growth and development, the main thing is to learn how to handle it correctly. 7 Ways to cope with criticism and get benefits.
Traditionally, criticism is divided into constructive and non-constructive.
When we are criticized unconstructively, the form in which critical remarks are clothed comes to the fore. These are personal negative assessments, accusations, claims, and without arguments and specifics. The opponent generalizes the reason and inflates the essence of the problem to universal proportions: everything is bad, you have done nothing, nothing works, everything is wrong.
To cope with such criticism and benefit from it, we will analyze the source and cause of the attacks.
Method 1. Do not accept criticism from incompetent people and boors
We are sometimes criticized by people who are incompetent or simply ill-mannered. The goals are pursued very differently: to rise at our expense, to thwart evil, to blame, to shift responsibility to us, and to emotionally discharge. You should not accept such criticism.
Do not tolerate rudeness, insults, or provocations. You don’t have to like everyone, especially illiterate boors and critics. It’s better to just leave and not communicate. If it does not work out, then benefit from this situation: train a philosophical attitude to life, harden the psyche, and develop a healthy indifference to gratuitous accusations.
Method 2. Separate the form from the content. 7 Ways to cope with criticism and get benefits.
Sometimes people do not know how to criticize correctly and effectively, that is, reasonable comments are clothed in the form of claims, negative personal assessments, and emotional attacks. To benefit from such a situation, it is important for us to learn to ignore the form and pay attention to the essence, to cope with emotions, and to translate accusations from a claim into a constructive one. Specify exactly what the problem is, what exactly you did wrong, and what is bad and wrong. If the criticism is justified, recognize its content, not its form. Focus on finding a solution.
The use of such criticism is to train emotional stability and develop the ability to separate the main thing from the secondary.
Constructive criticism contains comments on the substance, in a friendly form, without going to the person. It stimulates personal and professional growth and development and focuses on solving, not on the problem and finding the culprit.
Method 3. Accept criticism with dignity
If the criticism is good and constructive, accept it with gratitude and use it wisely. If it is not constructive or does not suit you for some other reasons, do not be indignant and shower the critic with abuse. Be polite, stay calm, tell the critic who has already tuned in to the negative “Thank you, I will take this into account”, and continue to move forward. You absolutely should not get upset and annoyed because of other people’s words, allowing them to poison the rest of your day.
Remember – you are the champion and always have been, so keep winning!
Method 4. Focus on the solution and conclusions, not on the problem
If the criticism is fair, accept it and admit mistakes, and focus on correcting them. When you solve the problem, analyze the situation, answer yourself what could be improved or changed, what you have learned, and how and where else you can use it.
The essence of critical comments refers to our knowledge and skills, behavior, or attitude toward people or situations. If we have written a report incompletely, illiterate, and with errors, then we lack knowledge in this area and the skills to analyze and structure information. And we conclude that it is necessary to learn more and acquire the necessary competencies. If we are criticized for passing the report at the last second or breaking the deadline, it is important for us to master the techniques of time management and change the usual behavior strategies.
The problem is that we had to take into account the opinions of all the team members, and we didn’t listen to anyone and did everything in our own way. Then we should learn to appreciate and take into account the contribution of everyone and change the attitude towards colleagues and teamwork.
Thus, the benefit of constructive criticism is the opportunity to see weaknesses, and blind spots, and grow professionally and personally.
Method 5. Cope with emotional reactions. 7 Ways to cope with criticism and get benefits.
If everything is fine with your self-esteem, then you will not pay attention to the boor or you will instantly forget about him. If you are offended by this, perhaps you should work on your self-esteem and your own emotional stability. Attacks in your address should be perceived as training situations.
But sometimes we are even offended by comments on the case, expressed in the most friendly and polite form. No one insults us, accuses or humiliates us, but in a calm manner, they show us what is wrong and how it would be better to do it. Why do we still get offended or upset?
This is where our inner critic comes into play, the most severe and ruthless of all critics in the world. We wind ourselves up stronger than any boor or strict boss. You screwed up! Shame on you! You can’t even do such an elementary thing, let alone something serious! You are worthless, you are a loser! And so on, and so on. If you are familiar with such internal dialogues, you react emotionally to any criticism in any form, and most likely, you strive to avoid it.
The reasons for such destructive dialogues are low self-esteem and excessive demands on yourself. You doubt yourself and at the same time strive to be perfect. You connect your own assessment of yourself, a unique, multifaceted personality, with the results of one particular case, situation, or act. Therefore, even the slightest remark hits you very painfully.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just admit it. Everything means everything, including you. Allow yourself to make mistakes sometimes, accept it simply as a human quality, and do not go into personality with yourself. The next time someone makes a critical remark to you, do not give your inner critic freedom. Stop. I am a human being and I have the right to make mistakes. And now I will take into account what I am told, and focus on solving the problem, and not on empty self-flagellation.
Another situation is that we have too good an opinion of ourselves, so we take any criticism with hostility. In this case, we look for reasons outside and blame anyone, but not ourselves. I did everything right, it was the secretary who messed up everything. I’m a professional, I know better, it’s not for you to teach me. However, this is only the reverse side of the same self-doubt.
By increasing your self-esteem and learning to take criticism calmly, you will become more confident in yourself and achieve your goals easier.
Method 6. Translate knowledge into action
Regardless of whether you managed to ignore baseless criticism see a mistake and find a solution, determine a growth zone, or cope with a destructive emotional reaction, it is important to consolidate the experience gained. Answer yourself, what helped you in this situation? In what other situations will you use this approach? How can you prevent such mistakes from happening again?
How will you work out the growth zones? How will you cope with emotions? Come up with three simple steps that will help transform new knowledge and experience into useful habits for dealing with criticism. And start acting right now. Then any criticism will benefit you.
Method 7. Develop the ability to respond to criticism. 7 Ways to cope with criticism and get benefits.
Often people feel confused when they encounter it. They don’t know how to answer, that’s why they are so afraid of other people’s ratings. But you can thank a person for the right comments. And if they are wrong, or unfair, answer specifically, or clearly, do not try to justify yourself or defend yourself.
Sometimes the factor of liking or disliking also matters. Therefore, it is important to agree with yourself and understand that even if you do something outstanding, and very valuable, do it with talent, from the heart, there will still be someone who will not like it. The one who will condemn, devalue, and criticize. This happens because some people tend to believe that they know how to live, think, express, or not express themselves.
Tolerance to criticism, the ability to perceive it, cope with it, and distinguish constructive criticism from toxic criticism are very important skills for life. At a time when one person takes constructive comments, finds valuable moments in them, and uses them for his own good, the other will be offended and feel hurt.