There are things that you can control quite well. As a rule, it’s you, your emotions, and your states. It very much depends on the situation and your inner state at this moment. A person will be able not to fall into anxiety for any reason – big or small. What you can really control are emotions and states?
From what state can good decisions be made? When you are emotionally stable and when you have enough strength. Whatever the problem/task a person faces. He will be able to solve it only if he has enough strength and is emotionally stable. If a person is emotionally unstable, then the decision will be suboptimal, so it will also increase anxiety. This is the optimal choice in any situation, and in critical situations or in a state of uncertainty, it is generally an invaluable skill.
This is the optimal choice in any situation, and in critical situations or in a state of uncertainty, it is generally an invaluable skill. In a state of uncertainty, choose to be stable.
There is one more point What you can really control are emotions and states?
Fear is something that eats up a large proportion of energy. When we turn to survival mode, the instinct of self-preservation turns on all systems to work to the maximum. And the body begins to actively burn resources in order to survive. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a real threat or just your usual reaction of increased anxiety. If at the same time, you have any other tasks/plans/projects – there is no longer enough resource for them.
Or if you need to make a difficult decision, and there are no forces, then you will not accept any. He knows perfectly well how much energy he has available, and believes that this energy will be enough to solve which task, and for which it will not be enough. And if there is not enough energy, then the brain will definitely not solve this problem.
Why? It’s simple, the primary task of the body is to survive. If you spend the energy necessary to maintain life, for some purpose. And this is the scenario that the whole body strongly opposes – both subconscious programs and the instinct of self-preservation. Therefore, if you can’t tear yourself away from the sofa and start no matter what (from cleaning this very sofa), then just understand that you don’t have enough resources, energy, or strength to solve this problem.
Why is managing emotions so important? What you can really control are emotions and states?
Let’s say you have experienced some negative event for yourself. Your wife/husband has upset you, or unpleasant news has come. And you’re depressed. Is this normal?
What do most people do in this case?
Some in this case are offended and maintain a lowered tone for several days. Maybe months. There are such cases that for the rest of your life, thereby condemning yourself to an unhappy existence and poisoning the lives of others. Others are trying to distract themselves, let it take its course, and wait for the condition to return to normal.
This means that a person is in a state of low emotional tone for a long time. In this state, all the decisions he makes will be weak. A person is not able to see strong solutions to any of his problems from a state of depression, apathy, grief, resentment, jealousy, envy, or hangover. Many spoil their lives by making hasty decisions, which they later regret for years.
Obviously, the most effective way out of this situation is to quickly put your condition back into operation. Go from a state of depression, grief, and hopelessness to a state of joy and enthusiasm.
How to manage your emotions?
What you can really control are emotions and states?
Every event in our life can make us either stronger or weaker. What makes us stronger are the events that we perceive as lessons and from which we have learned valuable experiences. A sign that you are on good terms with this or that event is that you are grateful for this event. That is, when you remember him, you feel sincere gratitude!
The second step is to realize that this goal is achievable. Anything you can imagine and want, you can achieve. What is the value of each event in your life – you have to find out on your own.
The third step is to make a decision to choose the path to life and accept all the events of your life, with gratitude.
The fourth step is following your decision: recapitulating those events of your past that torment you the most. As a rule, there are few such events; most often it is one.
Ways to manage emotions
What you can really control are emotions and states.
After you have sorted out the causes of emotions, you can proceed to work on them.
#1. Breathing exercises or meditation
Often, in order to cope with the emotion, it is enough to restore breathing. Yoga classes, meditation, and listening to soothing music will help.
If you experience a feeling of anger, use the following exercise: inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale half, hold your breath for 10-15 seconds, and exhale completely.
To reduce excitement or fear, it is enough to just take a few deep breaths and exhalations. Try to focus on internal balance and abstract from the world around you. So the restoration of breathing will be easier and faster. If you consider yourself an impulsive person, then use this method on a regular basis.
#2. Watch your facial expression
This method helps in difficult negotiations, stressful situations, in conflicts with loved ones. If you realize that you are starting to get angry, smile. Even a slight smile will help you relax. If you can’t, then just look at yourself in the mirror, look at your furious face. At this point, you will begin to objectively evaluate yourself from the outside, and emotions will subside.
#3. Joke and smile
Laugh with others. If you are alone, watching your favorite funny videos or a funny movie will help. This method is also suitable for cases when you are depressed. If you don’t want to do anything, then it’s best to go for a walk, exercise, or jog.
#4. Praise yourself
Make it a rule to praise yourself every night for the things you have done. We washed the dishes, took the children to school, passed the report on time, and cooked a pie – everything is worthy of praise.
#5. Start a timer for experiences
It shows that by the set time the intensity of emotions subsides. As a result, there is no need to splash them out.
#6. Be alone
If emotions are strong, then doing extraneous things can only aggravate the situation. Be alone with yourself.
#7. Take responsibility for your actions
Think about it when your emotions are “overflowing”.
#8. Don’t judge yourself for your emotions
Observe thoughts and desires. Follow their flow, do not swear if you see your imperfection. The less you condemn yourself for negative emotions, the weaker their intensity will be next time.
#9. If possible, eliminate the cause of emotions
Sometimes it’s easier to eliminate the cause of emotion than to work on it. Don’t get hung up on emotions, but think about ways to solve them. If you don’t like to do any household chores or go shopping, ask another family member to do it.
#10. Think about what is the worst that can happen
If something angered or upset you, think that something more unpleasant could have happened. This will somewhat relieve the heat of passions and allow you to reason soberly.
#11. Visualize your emotions
Aggression can become fire, fear can become scattered garbage. Put out the fire in your imagination or sweep away all the garbage.
#12. Add more positive emotions
It sounds corny, but the more we surround ourselves with kind people, and beautiful things, the less negative thoughts visit us. Try to avoid communicating with eternally dissatisfied people or those who constantly have some kind of drama in their lives.
If these are your colleagues, keep communication with them to a minimum and then only on business matters. If this is your loved one, try to look for positive aspects in life together. With a constant fixation on the negative, it will be more difficult to manage emotions.
#13. Find time to relax
We can’t control our emotions when we get tired. Make a schedule. Set aside time for work, household chores, for your favorite activities. Add walking in the park, relaxing in the bathroom, reading books, playing sports or dancing, and meeting friends to your day. It is better to give your body a little rest every day than to accumulate fatigue and try to unload once every 2 weeks.
#14. Look at your emotions from the outside
It resembles a split personality, but you will do it consciously. This method is suitable if you are in a difficult situation and cannot cope with emotions on your own. Abstract from your personality and see how your own experiences affect you.
Perhaps you will even give yourself advice on how to be. But this method should not resort to all the time.
#15. The most important thing. Constantly evolve
Engage in both physical and spiritual development. Only a mature person who knows and accepts himself completely can manage his own emotions. Look for a reason for positive emotions. Show love and care to other people. Do it sincerely. Be confident and determined, like little children. People with such qualities will be successful in any endeavor.
Managing emotions and feelings is a skill. It cannot be mastered in one week. Only constant work on yourself will make you a really happy person. Remember that positive emotions and cheerfulness not only prolong life but also significantly improve its quality.
A person who has learned to control his emotions is a free person!
© 2023 Elena Petrova, Mikhail Borisov
